The Three Rs - Respect (Part 2)
The three R’s—Respect, Responsibility and Resourcefulness—are often taught in elementary schools. I wanted to apply them to witchcraft.
What we learn as children is often more about how to be good people and how to participate in a civilization.
Being respectful of others and the world we live in, taking responsibility for our actions, and being resourceful with the things we know and the materials we have available to us.
The first of these that we will talk about in this series is Respect.
I’ve written about respect in the past, most notably in the discussion of cultural appropriation (Part 1 and Part 2).
But let’s really focus in on what respect means and how it is applicable to witchcraft with the following two statements:
I believe that witches ought to show respect toward the natural world that we depend on for survival.
I believe that witches ought to show respect to other people and their culture, experiences and beliefs.
We already talked about the first statement in Part 1. Now, in Part 2 we will focus on the second…
Respect for People
In looking for definitions for the word respect I found that it basically means a feeling of admiration for someone based on their qualities or achievements. This definition means that respect must be earned, through some sort of praiseworthy effort.
Another definition of respect is about regarding or considering another person’s beliefs, feelings or wishes. There is no qualification for this definition, it’s just taking someone else’s beliefs into consideration.
It’s not stated directly, but in my mind this second definition means to show regard for the beliefs of all people, no matter their age, gender, sexual orientation, religion, nationality, race, life choices, etc.
To understand that each step of the journey is as unique as the life of the person who takes it. To simply observe it, without making judgement.
When we look at disrespect, it can help us round out this meaning a bit more.
This word means a lack of courtesy or is to ignore the beliefs of another person, to misunderstand them, to misrepresent them. Disrespect is being impolite which is a social expectation.
Basically, disrespect is violating another person’s expectation of how they believe you should behave toward them.
Which explains, the more common definition of respect: the opposite of disrespect, which is to behave the way people feel you should behave.
So in some ways, respect is a form of obedience.
The stories we hear about obedient people are typically portrayed as respectful and the disobedient people are labelled disrespectful. Which means that respect is really a concept that depends on the perspective.
What I see as respect, may be considered disrespect to someone else. It means something different to each person.
If someone violates your expectations in a way you don’t like, you may interpret that as a sign of disrespect. And from your perspective, you’d be right.
But from their perspective…?
Who knows!
Cultural Appropriation
So in the conversation about cultural appropriation, you may feel as if you are showing respect for a culture by participating in it. But participation is not part of the definition of respect, only observation and consideration.
Your actions are better described as featuring a practice or maybe connecting to the practice. But just for the sake of argument from your perspective, you feel you are being respectful.
Then, when someone says, “You are disrespecting me and my culture when you…” this means they feel you are violating their expectations of you. From their perspective you are being impolite, and you are misunderstanding or misrepresenting them.
And, they are also right.
So, where do you go from there?
Respect would mean you consider the feelings and wishes of this person, right? Ignoring them would be disrespectful. At the very least, engaging in conversation with them would keep you in the realm of respect.
Find out why they feel disrespected. Find out if there is a way for you to engage in this practice respectfully. A conversation can go a long way.
Veganism
Another example is about Veganism. If you thought you would get through a post about pushing the boundaries of witchcraft topics without me bringing up veganism you have another think coming.
My witchcraft practice is dependent on showing respect.
It requires that I show respect for the Earth, and all her creatures, as well as my health and the wellbeing of other humans on this planet.
This requires that I live a Vegan life.
Veganism influences every aspect of my life. It has brought clarity and understanding to my beliefs and wishes surrounding my body, mind, and spirit.
So… since my witchcraft practice is very much dependent on a Vegan life, when someone supports a system that causes unnecessary harm to the Earth, and the animals and humans who live here, they are disrespecting my beliefs.
In fact, from my perspective, this is the most disrespectful a person can be. Especially, when they are aware of the effects of animal agriculture.
But here is an interesting thought experiment…
I feel disrespected, but can I still respect the meat-eaters feelings and wishes that are so disrespectful to my beliefs?
Of course I can!
I can observe that they do, in fact, eat meat. I can regard this fact and still know that they are supporting cruelty and violence.
But… what I have just said, may be interpreted by some meat-eaters as disrespectful. Someone will likely say that I have misrepresented what meat-eaters believe, and that I am not behaving the way I should behave.
From the meat-eaters perspective, I’m not allowed to say that I consider their support of factory farming disrespectful toward my beliefs. How could I say something like that? It not only impolite and discourteous… it’s downright rude!
But… from my perspective, I’m sharing my honest thoughts and feelings on my own blog. And I believe honesty is the highest form of respect. By being honest and open I share my path of personal growth.
My honesty is my way of showing respect.
I think it would be disrespectful to pretend to be someone I’m not. To lie about my beliefs or present a false image of myself. This would be disrespectful to you and it would be disrespectful to me.
Now can I still respect someone that I feel is disrespectful of my beliefs?
I don’t see why not. There are too many people who read my blog and interact with me to expect all of you to respect my beliefs. I think it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to adhere to my ethical standard.
Is it automatically a show of disrespect to tell someone that you feel disrespected by their actions?
I don’t think so. I think it can actually be a powerful show of respect to do this.
I don’t feel meat-eaters show any respect for my beliefs when they willingly support of a system that is so incredibly unethical, corrupt, and harmful. I don’t feel I’m being at all disrespectful to say this.
In fact, I believe I’m being very respectful. I believe I am offering a chance for us to connect, by discussing our beliefs, and where they stem from.
Final Thoughts
As a witch, I think it is important to determine what you find to be respectful and disrespectful from your own perspective.
Because you, of course, have the freedom to make up your own mind about which behaviors you consider to be respectful vs. disrespectful.
And whatever you decide, you’re right!
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Now it’s your turn!
Find a topic you disagree with and read a blog post or watch a youtube video about it. Consider the viewpoint. What can it teach you?
What does respect mean to you? What would you consider disrespectful?
Do you believe that telling someone you feel disrespected is necessarily a show of disrespect? Or could such honesty be a deeper show of respect, perhaps even an invitation to connect on a whole new level?
